Ten years ago, my mum who I adored was told that the breast cancer that she told us had been successfully treated was now terminal. Her response was typical of a woman who successfully raised five children while married to an alcoholic father. She simply said “I will do as much as I can for as long as I can. Then, when I can’t, I’ll do something else.” Those words still bring tears to my eyes.
Leaving aside the white lie about her cancer having been successfully treated, which she excused on the grounds “I knew it was bad, but I didn’t want to worry you children”, I think of her words every time I’m having bad day.
I just remind myself of the situation she found herself in, her utterly selflessness in not worrying her children, and how she maintained a relentless rearguard action in an unwinnable barrier. My troubles pale in comparison.
A Lesson in Courage
From the moment she was diagnosed, mum faced her illness head on, refusing to let cancer define her or dictate her life. Instead, she chose to focus on what she could do, rather than what she couldn’t. This single-mindedness allowed her enjoy trips to Switzerland to see her family and America to visit one of her daughters rather than dwelling on the unfairness of life.
Finding Joy in the Everyday
One of the most remarkable aspects of my mother’s journey was her ability to find joy in the everyday moments. Whether it was tending to her garden, spending time with family, or simply enjoying a cup of tea, she made the most each day with gratitude, her illness becoming a backdrop rather than the central narrative.
The Power of Adaptability
As her condition progressed, my mother adapted with grace. When she could no longer engage in certain activities, she found new ways to stay engaged and fulfilled. Her ability to pivot and find new passions, like using a mobility scooter to attend a local “Knit & Natter” group, was a great reminder that life is about looking forward and adapting.
Cherishing Every Moment
Mum’s approach to her illness was a object lesson in cherishing every moment. She showed us that life is precious and that even in the face of adversity, there are always things to be grateful for. Her legacy lives on in the way we choose to live our own lives, aspiring to her standards of courage, adaptability, and unwavering focus on the positive.
A Special Memory: Swimming with Dolphins
As the disease progressed, my mother was no longer able to swim, something she truly enjoyed. However, while on holiday in America with my sisters, she used some money I had given her “to do something that you’d like to do for yourself” to go swimming with dolphins. The look of sheer happiness on her face during that experience will live with me forever. It was a moment of pure joy and a reminder of the importance of creating special memories, even in difficult times.
Wrapping up
My mother’s words “I will do as much as I can for as long as I can. Then, when I can’t, I’ll do something else”. So simple yet so powerful and a testament to the power of positivity and what the human spirit can achieve.
If you’ve found this post uplifting or inspiring, that’s great. Please feel free to leave a comment below. I certainly found writing it a timely reminder of the power of staying positive.
Bob
